To often we tell are children what we “don’t” want them to do instead of what we do want them to do. We forget that each child has unique gifts and abilities. Our jobs as parents is to provide a way for that to blossom and grow. Here’s some motivational concepts you probably won’t hear at your run of the mill parenting class. Let the action steps help you nurture your family (and you)…
Empowerment is the means and opportunity to make decisions and take
actions that directly affect each person in your family. How are you empowering your child to be who they are vs telling them who they are not?
This is how parents transfer power and self-control downward in an family. You must use clear expectation and create a democratic decision making environment. Let your child think for himself or herself. The solutions to a problem will not always be the best the natural consequences of their own actions will make them smarter and more mature.
How will you communicate your belief in your child’s abilities and decision-making skills in the next week?
Get a vision of the big picture about your parenting and your family. Is today really just about laundry and homework or are there bigger issues and long-term lesson you want to teach. Parents have to accept that each person in the family is needed to the success of the family. It does not rest on one person although adults will have more responsibility than the children. That doesn’t mean less ownership.
Communicate your vision for your family to your child like a corporation might do with a mission statement. Most kids don’t mind because they have the wrong motivation. They think this is about me playing and mom doing everything else. Not so! Talk about this vision today…
Your kids can’t do anything they haven’t been taught to do. They won’t do anything you don’t do! Be a role model for what you want to see in your family. Ensure that the necessary support is in place to help your child be successful at home. If you don’t know what they want or need, ask them: “How can mommy and daddy help you do ______?”
Take some time to listen to your children’s conversation to each other or to their peers. What does it tell you about what you need to change in the home?
This “E” word summarizes all the other concepts. It refers to the need be a “coach” to your child to train your child with the emotional and social skills they need and help them understanding their abilities by experiencing their limitations. It allows for mistakes (in them and you) with lots of empathy and cheer leading to try again.
Parents must look at the inner person and not just the outer behaviors. Find the child’s hot button and focus on character issues, not whining and tantrums. For every misbehavior, ask why? Why are they whining? Ask why again, if needed, until you get to the root cause of the behavior and address that issue, not the fruit of it. Learn to reflect feelings and not give lectures.
Share your thoughts on these 5 “E” words to build family strength…click the comment link.