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Monthly Archives: September 2006

What Does He Mean By That?

What Does He Mean By That?

Everyone has had trouble trying to interprete someone’s intentions. Sometimes it’s hard to know if someone is disrespecting you and being rude
or if that is just the way they communicate. Most relationships run into trouble when one person misunderstands the other. Use these simple tips to help you navigate the confusing waters of human communication.

> Get more tips on managing anger and relationships now at http://angertoolbox.com/angersmart.html

The purpose of good listening is to gain maximum understanding. Many people are tuned in only to the words of a speaker or to the body language or the tone of voice and do not listen to the whole message. In understanding a message, each of these is important.

In order to hear the entire message, keep in mind the following points:

1. Think about the specific words the speaker is saying.

2. Maintain an eye contact with the speaker. You cannot read body language without looking at the speaker. Eye contact tells him that you are listening.

3. Engage your mind to interpret his body language. You may intuitively understand it because much of what is sent nonverbally is subconsciously understood. If you feel your emotions are coloring your understanding, do an awareness check.

4. Watch facial expressions and how the speaker uses his hands and arms. These will give you the most information on his nonverbal communication.

5. Listen to his tone of voice. Is it consistent with his words?

6. Interpret the complete message when he has finished. Respond to what you think he is saying and then listen carefully to his response to you.

Feel free to pass this on to a friend online…

Something Else

Something Else

Whatever it is hangs over us,
wants us to keep on gliding forward,
as if a compass nestled in the heart,
as if a hidden magnet were always calling to
the bits of iron which swim in the blood,
or a boat was being drawn ahead
by a canal-man, with his steady line and
unwavering eye,
not asking why, just doing it,
even on the days we awaken
amidst the ruins of the spirit,
and have nothing to offer,
except a longing for the smell of hyacinths
and something else we can’t fully recall.

Dorothy Walters

How has your “longing” for “something else” increase your creative energy? What creative activities do you long for…not just do as a job but really need to do?

Share your thoughts at http://www.creativitybuilders.com

How To Remain Calm When Dealing With An Angry Person

How To Remain Calm When Dealing With An Angry Person

An effective method for keeping your cool with an angry person is to concede his right to feel the way he does, even if you disagree. Using an “acknowledgment strategy” allows you to remain calm and objective without having to defend yourself.

Then using reflective listening skills show that you sympathize and understand your attacker’s feelings. This action tends to defuse the conflict. A sympathetic response keeps you from fighting with the person and allows you to zero in on the sources of the conflict. Here are some examples of statements that acknowledge another person’s feelings:

“After telling you that you got left behind, I can see why you are feeling upset.”

“Now that I know you are interested in me, it makes perfect sense that you would be upset by me ignoring you.”

“From what you’ve described, I think you have a perfect right to be upset.”

When you remain composed under pressure, it also encourages the other person to calm down and talk more rationally. By carefully listening you may discover that the angry person has:

• Magnified an incident out of proportion
• Misunderstood information
• Interpreted your statement or action as a personal attack
• Picked a fight to cover up a larger issue
• Made you aware of a genuine complaint that you need to address